By chance I might have come across the Captain America trailer the other day and was appalled. Just like the subjugation of women, minorities and poodles, now the skinny guy is being berated as weak and not useful to humankind as a whole.

The slender male has been through a lot, suffering a life of ineptitude centuries before only to be catapulted into vampire fame and emo glory. Before that our records show that the last time being skinny was sexy was when humans ate bananas and threw feces at each other...you know the 1980's. Now with this trailer alone we are heading back into the early twentieth century dark ages. And skinny guys can do plenty in war time: like climb into a fox hole, do crazy acrobatic maneuvers, kung fu and cure cancer*. What may even surprise one more is that women can cut limbs off with samurai swords and balance basketballs on their noses, the list goes on and the stereotypes do too.

As a skinny guy I am here to protect my rights to popular culture even though I ultimately disdain it so I can impress my friends, what other evolutionary advantage would I have? Our culture has been doing this for a while, picking evolutionary characteristics based on movies and I am tired of movies getting a one up on me. Culture needs a movie called 'Skinny Guy' where all the protagonist does is save the world one explosion at a time and nail the attractive lady. Because that is all that matters, let's face it, there are priorities and I mean that in the least facetious way possible, the human race depends on it.

*may not have been proven just yet

And by shot I mean a shot of tequila which was what I drinking when I took this...

Set your engines for the sky
Drain the swamps my little butterfly
This Murphy's game of looking at the ground
Only fit for those wearing shackling nouns

Dream of perfection's shroud
Only with knowledge of its dark, hidden cloud
Dream of irrigating the masses
As they pliantly forget their blesses

Don't forget the grounding ground's ground
The anchor you take to Atlas for his hand to pound
People, oh people they remember
Don't let them dismember
Your rusty shaft